Maybe

maybe with a personal computer on my hip

I could raise the tea to take a sip
but then spill it off the lip

got half a mind to drop the thousand dollar brick of polished glass

sever all connection lest I show my whole ass 

instead just

retype the same site into the address bar ten times

muscle memory by refresh rate

with desperate hope for police state

conspiracies for suckers but at least the suckers know

they skip around the block and can see it's all for show

But me?                                       I know who I am

i'm a dude playing a dude afraid of another dude who's

never quite aware enough, never not tuned in

terminally online but primarily for sin

wrote a bunch of loose-leaf lines about my inner life

but maybe what i need is a pair of slippers and wife

maybe what i need is sober living and a cat

maybe kitty's not my type

maybe doggo's more the hype

it may be that emotional support can come from beasts but

my inner self is bucking hard against the five-point leash

vibrating like a lelo what got hooked up to a jumper

like an unfixed canine pup, drool-prone stress-humper

couldn't split my heart and hands despite the temp of each

maybe if i hit the gym i'd actually like the beach (not likely)

like, we

raise the empty cup in hand and mouth the words "et cetera" 

background player gets day rate but speaking lines are extra

extra super Cali-fragile midwest homespun heart

raised by folks with strong ideals, with kids who yelled "retart"

prim and proper
performative paintjob for your lust
so maybe that's all bust

but trust

the monolog's a must

how else will I drain the humours
wring the toxins from my vox
child-sized kaiju rampaging through toy blocks
everything's on fire
everything's a 10
everything's eventually written out or in

crack a cold one with the toys
on the island of misfit shits
dopey rudy and his elven friend
think this time is his
gee whiz

if i'm not a precious flower
smarter than my years
not built for grace or combat power
or management at Sears
maybe i'm just no one special
medium, standard guy
the kind that 50-70 folks
will remember when he dies

that's okay
(Maybe) that's okay
that's okay
(Maybe) that's okay
that's okay
(Maybe) that's okay





(Maybe)