My words are like sushi, raw and eaten by people who want to look chic

I miss the old days, when I used to look forward to the new ones.

I smell bad. is it me, or my surroundings?
I inhale deeply through my nose and I can smell a scent
reminiscent of a car dealership
and also of burning tires
birth and death
lots of it, out with the old, in the with new
I threw out her love letters today... Thought about burning them, decided against it

Couldn't find a lighter.

Couldn't care less.


out with the old, in with


I have to keep myself from calling her sometimes.
restraint is the key
I don't want to look like a creeper
but she fills me with a good feeling
like I'm doing the right thing
like I'm approaching the next checkpoint
like a sign on the highway for your exit
like waking up on the right side of your bed, stretching, and falling back asleep


in with the new, out with the


I facebooked her today
said some things that's she's heard a million times from me
I hope maybe she'll believe me this time
I mean it this time
It takes me a few tries, I've found. Takes me a few.

ha.


out with the old, in with


sometimes I wonder if things are going to be ok
with me, with savannah
if I even get in
I worry about the mail, I worry about my friendships
my relationships
I worry about if the documents got mixed up when they were faxed
about freak accidents that could never happen but sometimes do
and are then reported on the news as such
I pretend like I can look back with fondness on the good old days
but I have a friend who taught me not to do that


in the with the


was considering rewriting the first line of this, about four seconds ago
because it implies that I don't look forward anymore
correction: that's all I do nowadays
and I am fond of what I see
it's just what is there when I finally arrive
the mirages
the constructions of my mind
aren't always as wonderful as I had hoped

I refuse to scroll up and change it
I'm only moving down
ahead
I'm looking at a blinking cursor and hoping it leads me somewhere
I see more college, I see a job
I see a woman who loves me
I see passion and contentedness
and I'm fond of these things

Oh God, please don't fool me.

or at the very least, send me some binoculars


in with the new


I miss the old days, when I used to put off thinking about the future.