Delusion

Have I been Deceived?

I have waltzed through this life uninterrupted
hauling ass towards some unseen endgame
an endgame I have always assumed I'd win
out of necessity

but my view frays at the edges,
loose threads hanging here and there
and I get the sense that there's something behind what I can see

so I claw at my eyes, searching desperately for the blindfold
because maybe there's still time
if I can see what's really out there
beyond the lies I tell myself

Maybe there isn't a life in this, in writing
in ideas
in whimsy
I say maybe because I'm deathly afraid of admitting that I'm unremarkable
that anyone can do what I do
that ultimately, I've wasted my entire life chasing a dream I wasn't meant for

but I still have life left
if I could just get this thing off
so I scratch and scrape
and the blood dries under fingernails
and still I struggle
because I know I'm wrong
I just know it
I just need to get this thing off
I just need to get this thing off
I just nde to get this thing off
I just need to get this thing off
I just need to gt this thing off
I just need to get this thing off
I just need to get this thing off
I just need to get this thing off
i justn tnedd to get this thing off
i just tneed to get this thin goff
i jsut ejneoed to gehth this thing offf
ifhfif,
I just thkn nedd to get this thing off


Get it together. Cold Shower. Bandages, an Ice pack.
You're not out of the fire yet, kid.
And regardless of what you think you're meant for
you're here, right now.
and this is real, and they're looking at you, waiting for your next move
so what will it be?
Are you going to sit here and play the victim?
Give up? Go Home?
Or strap in, hold on tight, and ride it out, whatever it ends up being?


Keep your eyes open
blink and you'll miss it
the worst isn't over
but no one ever said it had to be comfortable
or easy
or just
they just said that it'd be.