Julie

I've got a name with your name on it
says the body enrobed in blood
says the hand to the gun
says the victim to the perpetrator

she is sitting in her room
propped against the wall
mannequinesque
her features have dissolved
the note is where she left it
the pen is to the left of it
to the right there is an eraser
pondered twice but never used
she stares at all of these things, growing tired

she has a handgun
and she's been trained to deep throat it
she doesn't know why she's doing this
but she doesn't care to care anymore

but as it slides in and she squints in discomfort
and she is reminded of a past lifetime
and a future one
and pain too great to bear

'I see no logical solution
no escape to this rubik's trap
that seems to shift each time I near it
as its many square wheels turn':
and so ends her dictated life
she slumps against the wall
and she pulls out the gun

And the police are taping the scene
in yellow and black (because

[there is panic)
as a result of it]

Julie is holding her pen and trying to see straight, and she looks at the gun
and she looks at the clock
and she tries to get over her very last writer's block
and she signs the note 'Eric' and seals with a kiss
the ring of sustain of the tone of her voice

and she's there again choking
on her dirty little cop out
and she doesn't care
because if she has to spend one more day here
she'll

ironic.


A mannequin leaning on the wall
crying again
will cry again
tears run down where her nose and mouth were
holding a gun in her hand
like it's so foreign
it is wet with saliva
it's evidence of a gag reflex
that we all have


she looks at the clock
god damnit still the same
the days are quick when the nights are so long
and lonely
nothing quite like time
to think about how miserable you'll be
this time tomorrow


but as it slides in and she squints in discomfort
and she is reminded of a past lifetime
and a future one
and pain too great to bear


and she's about to write a letter
and she's made up her mind
a failsafe, foolproof plan
and she swallows fourteen pills, three at a time
and she walks down to the basement
to a gun safe secure and locked
and she walks back upstairs
and she sits on her right leg
and she starts to write.

And the police are taping the scene
in yellow and black
in yellow.


they find her holding a gun
but not a wound to be found
and they find a piece of paper

it says 'Eric'


I've got a name with your name on it
says the body enrobed in blood
and you'll see your great reunion
when one becomes two become one