White Walls, White Ceiling, White Floor

His name is Eric Matthew Brenham II
and he is 19 years old
he is sitting on his left leg
on the ground
and he is staring at a wall
in his bedroom
and that wall is empty
and it is off white
because it is dirty
and imperfect
and he is holding a suicide note
that was addressed to him
and he is holding a cordless phone
and he is hearing a dial tone
and he is thinking about Julia
the note raises itself to his nose
against all his senses' suggestions
and he reads it again
pausing on words
that seem significant
and skipping ones that are too painful
and he tries to pretend that she's floating in the unseen distance
sinking into the skies
a starry camouflage
for mortal eyes
but he can't shake the feeling that something isn't right
that the stars are blinking out
the wires are visible
all the magic is gone
and he is losing faith
in angel wings and pearly gates
and losing hope in his own humanity
where does that leave him?
he shifts his weight and kicks out his left leg
it is asleep
and he keeps looking at the walls
and the ceiling
hoping that maybe an answer will come from the shadows
that the fan sends dancing around the room
he catches a blade with his eye and follows it around, like he always used to from his bed
the fan isn't spinning
he's spinning the fan
control
an illusion he chooses to believe
from the audience
enjoying the benefits of a hare produced from a top hat
he is dizzy
and looks back at the wall
and he brings the note up again
to continue reading
and to try to understand what has happened
the sirens
the phone calls
the panic
the note
God damn the note!
If only he could ignore this
like he ignored all of the other problems
all the fighting
all the parenting
all the coping
all the stress rerouted
to his pen and pad
A door opens a story below
and his family shuffles in to the foyer noisily
and Eric sighs
wishing they'd ignore him
so he didn't have to explain
and have them try to help
and have them counsel
or pay someone to
have them care
or pay someone to
It's better they not know

There is a tree outside of Eric's bedroom
and it is here that our story begins
not with the tree
but with him opening his window
and climbing down it
and running
running like everyone says he always does
running away from his problems

Running into them



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(A draft for the intro) (still rough)