Sorry about the infrequency of updates.
who am I apologizing to?
Whoever stumbles upon this mess.
=
No such thing as a safe assumption!
"Take Care"
you too. I say it without thinking
(we all do)
take care in what?
be careful out there, this world is dangerous!
take care of yourself?
It?
your family?
take care of business?
take care, but give recklessness to all others
No such thing as a safe assumption
"How's your day?", I ask the man
"too early to tell" he replies.
He's right, I bite my tongue and my lips bleed.
I consider myself cursed
you see me blessed
but it is too early for either of us to truly understand what it means
to be blessed
cursed
to give thanks
to receive them.
There is no such thing as a safe assumption!
You will make asses of us!
The underdog always wins
and the odds are never in your favor
blah. shitty.
=
Intersection
Choices, Paths
A Hallway and a False Dillema
A thousand "Choose your own Adventure" books
stacked in three wooden chests
but you seem to think only one holds the frog suit you so desire
and the POW block will turn your ideologies upside down.
=
"I'm going to count to three, and If you're not down from there...
One!"
Temptation
like the ominous house that sits at the end of every suburban street
lurks in plain sight
waiting for me to double dare myself inside
waiting for me to think I am brave enough to enter it and return unscathed
A ghost haunts this house, runs up and down its staircases with legs that mean nothing
Waits for brave souls and preys upon them
No one has ever returned, so the legends say
These fears are not unfounded!
I know the truth
and the truth is that I want so badly to be brave
because for that moment, inside that house
I feel like a man.
"Two!"
You tell me that I'm beating myself up over this.
It's true.
The truth is I have a deep longing to be a coward, in this town full of adventurous souls.
I try so hard, but the press to be a hero is far too great.
I know that the brave ones are less heroic than most people imagine them
I have seen their faded photographs behind glass, their trophies destroyed and their medals tarnished
I know the truth. They have broken, and they are as they do.
But I still feel defiant, I am a brave man, I am destined for this
As much as I deny it, I will always long to be the brave one
And enter that house, and return safely.
but then what? More houses? More Suburbs?
My insatiable thirst for excitement will mean nothing, I will cheat death until I die
I am beating myself up over this
I refuse to be brave, to allow myself the moment of brief happiness that comes with that dare.
"Three!"
I rush inside
I can feel my conscience crying.
I feel my stomach churn, my blood pumps faster.
Conscience is silenced now.
I know how schrodinger's cat feels, to be like oneself but, at the same time, nothing like oneself at all.
I am at once everything I want to be, and a moment later, regret.
I am home now.
I am done living with my heart on my sleeve, I am ready to go on the defensive.
I will only pretend to be brave, and only when I know no real danger exists.
I would rather feel like half a man then make someone else half a person.
=
Looking back
I don't think things were as bad as I made them out to be.
=
=
No comments:
Post a Comment