They told me I was wrong

They told me that I was running
from an intangible something
an idea that would stay with me
a mistake I had made,
a problem at the core of my construction
or my development
or some shit
that I was moving to escape the issues that I had generated here
in this place
and that I would only repeat the mistakes
the problems
they would develop again,
only larger
and then I would see
yes,
yes,
then I would know that they were right
that I was wrong
that I could have stayed with a similar result
that I'm wasting my time, wasting my money

but I return,
millions of moments later
and everything has changed here
in this place
except you
and her
and them
everyone has grown up
and you have only shifted

And the moment I cross the state line high five
back home yeah right
I feel my soul sink
my heart slow
and I cannot help but think
that I was right
that it was this place that was killing me
that the baggage and bullshit
was keeping me from moving on
that your ideals,
your plans
and your methods

though effective

were weighing me down.
I must live my own life
and every day that I'm back here
is another reason to leave
your wife is psychotic, sir
your wife is a bitch
but only half the time
the rest of the time, she's sweet and funny
pleasant, even.
but she lashes out whenever anything is wrong in her eyes
and she treats her children like gold
yes she does

you won't let go
of any of us
and you refuse to let me live
you are slowly giving in, for me anyway,
but latching on to her as you do so
and all you want is organization
a neat room
parallel lines
a sandbox without sand
everything in its place
as long as that place is exactly as you expect
and as long as everything falls at ninety degree angles
this is life
you tell me
this is life
no sir
this is YOUR life
this is YOUR idea
these are YOUR WIFE'S ideals
and I respect that
but I must leave

and Tim says,
this city
this city's killing us

and I say
cheers, mate
you
said
it





The sooner I'm south
the sooner I'm happy again.
I'm sorry it has to be like this
but I can't live here.