Unposted Unfinished Pieces

****

I get stuck between days sometimes
I fall right off the calendar
I fail to make the gap between Saturday and Sunday
and I sit in some type of airless cell
floating aimlessly
waiting for validation

there are no walls
no doors
no signs or floors
no direction
no landmarks
no way to tell which way is up
there is no gravity

and I stare off in what I think is one direction
and I ask myself why I feel like I do
and I blame those around me for my own reactions
like my father taught me not to

and I seek an anchor point
a positive bullet
There are days
when all I do is lay around
and scroll through my address book
looking for someone to tell me they care
but those days are over

I must anchor myself.


****


I arrived before I got here
I was unpacked before I got in the car
and now I am finally feeling
as though taken from the chest of a man who no longer needed me
and feeling, for the first time
as though
maybe
I needed him more than I care to admit
the heart beats once, twice
and then panics


*****