Underdogged

I couldn't conceive of a world that was against me
no matter how hard I tried
or how often I claimed to

I've had every opportunity to succeed
White, check, male, check
brought up right, by textbook divorcees

Borrowed my way through art school
used to joke that it was "college for pretend"
that joke doesn't land like it used to

Blamed everyone, but didn't excuse myself
It was my fault too, and I made sure to say so
to every passer by

But things are looking up
the world has gone sideways
finally a cause, an effect worthwhile

I never thought I'd see the day
when my irony would fade
and I'd finally be the victim, the part I always played

Still, others have it worse
their struggles are more real
so I wake up every day and think

which guilt should I feel?