"Cellar Door."

That's what she said.


It was beautiful.

it meant nothing, it meant everything.


and i'm never going to forget it.

I wonder if that's what she wanted.


I could analyze what she was trying to say
about beauty, about love, about hate, about friendship
but I'm happier thinking that she
in a moment of realization
saw a big picture of what her life would be
and saw a beautiful beginning after that period
and so she typed it out
in two words
all of what she was leaving behind, and the bright future that was waiting for her



someday I'll say those words and not be bitter
and not hate myself
and not regret every last second
but for now
a cellar door is simply a gateway to my own personal purgatory
and it isn't a very pretty phrase at all


I cleanse.


I repent.


I pray and I plead.
not yet. but soon. hopefully. i will shed this skin. i will not give in. i will not be him anymore. but myself. i can't pretend i don't deserve this hell. but i know that i can do better. and i will. goodbye. good luck. goodbye. good luck.
goodbye, goodbye
two broken ties.
weigh heavy on my sleep
one I wished to break away
but this one i wanted to keep.
I loved you, truly, once
but now I cannot even apologize
I cannot earn your trust back
And I will never be trusted again.
but closure is beautiful.
and we both have that,
whether i deserve my half or not.

I cleanse.


I repent.


I pray and I plead.

echoing the angel that's left me:

Cellar Door, indeed.