Fundamental Truths

These,
Truths.

Self Evident and Righteous
Unapologetic, without regard for simple things like class and tact

Without Further Ado:

1. Declarations

I refuse to be abandoned
I cannot tie a tie on the first attempt
I have slept with someone I didn't care for
I have been in love
I once fell off of my bike carrying too much hockey equipment
I once wrote a short story that no one will ever see
I believe that there's someone perfect for me
I believe that every time I meet someone new, I get another step closer to finding her
I drink tequila because the buzz is better
I drink tea because of the tequila
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe
I've made something out of nothing

2. Continuance

A man at confessional is our main character
in this allegorical block of text.
His name is Guilt.
The story will be told in first person, a style most suitable
for confession. I have sinned, and this is
yet another
repentance from a man who's had one too many.
I failed to think of her feelings, of all of their feelings,
and I indulged in the most selfish of pleasures.
You cannot serve yourself so fully
and not punish others,
that I now know.

I think she's coming from across the way. I can smell her coming,
hear her coming. My heart sings with hope, but is silenced by uncertainty:

3. Questions

Will she be the one to solve it? Or will my feelings become more muddy as time goes on? Am I afraid to commit to anything less than perfection? and if so, why must I be cursed with such needs, such base, primal needs?

I refuse to place my hope in anyone
I'm going to sit back and wait for it to fall into my lap
(literal or figurative, whatever works)
It's always been so easy to fall in love
but lately I just can't seem to connect

Am I stuck in the past? Have I lost the means to love? Has the novelty of sex worn off?

Is it true that, despite my best efforts, I have failed to strip myself of romance?

I've become that guy who wanders aimlessly, courting as many women as he likes

why isn't that enough? isn't this what I wanted?


4. Conclusions

I want someone to love truly and deeply
but I haven't found that yet
or maybe I have and I just fail to see it
but I'm so tired of chasing tail
the white flashes of potential
seductive but ultimately fruitless

So I abandon the search today
someday I'll cross paths with someone perfect
and it will happen in the natural way
not like this
not forced
not driven by sex or loneliness or social pressure
but by a true desire to give myself fully and completely to someone else.