Backlogged 4: From the Past Week Because I'm Lazy

Busy week. Had a paper. Onto the crap.


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This time next year, i won't be here
I'll have left you to your devices
Temptations, sufferings, charities, vices
Hope you can get along without me
hope you can move on without me

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Slept-walked
woke up
to the sound of a cold shower
the smell of your hair wrapped in a towel
I'm wearing my birthday suit
but the jacket's too tight
doesn't feel right
I loosen my collar while you blowdry
I throw on a change and we say our goodbyes
goodbye goodbye good
bye to you
my dear friend
I'll return in the end (maybe)
but I'm not fit to serve you now (hardly)
my constitution is week and so are false vows
a drive thru chapel never seemed to fit the occasion
instead of a reception we got a motel room, beige and
green and black and blue on the inside
i woke up feeling not unlike who i'm afraid that I am
when I'm not looking, when I'm not watching
What did you see in me when the neon lights were on?
Now that the halogen sun has set, is your fake tan apparent?
When the doors all open and the patrons file out
Does anyone feel any different than when they started?
Surrounded by the hyperreal
None of this was ever true
casinos and mixed drinks were euchre and booze
You try to forget your troubles in fantasy
But like all things, moderation is key
and you and I got drunk on all that
got a limo got a kiss got a promnight got a hangover
And now who are we really but exhausted versions of ourselves?
What a mess we've made for roomservice
too bad they can't help us out this time
What happens in vegas stays in vegas
and what you lose there stays, too

I am walking away from you like I walked away from my life to get here
I am walking away from middle-aged love
I am walking back to the elevator that we swaggered back from last night
I am walking back to my middle-aged life

I press the G
and as if on cue
a crying hollow ghost appears
and it's you it's me it's you.


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JEFF
(Loudly)
When did I trade my confidence for safety,
my spontaneuity for stability?
When EXACTLY did I take a left turn
off of the road less trafficked?
Disappointed, in myself and my lack of freedom.
I'm done caging who I am!
DONE I SAY!
Here I am revealed in all of my letdown
Not quite as impressive as the camera claims
But nonetheless IN THE FLESH!

HONESTLY!
ALONESTY!
AMNESTY!
MAJESTY!
MAY I?
I AM ME!


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